New Picture

Well, I've put up a new picture...

This one is of My husband and myself 13 years ago at his sisters wedding. BEFORE we had children. So this is C&C b.k. (before kids) - we've changed over the years and we've had our problems (seriously, what marraige hasn't) but we've made it so far and we actually enjoy the people we've become.

My hat is off to my husband...if you knew me you'd understand. Hubby, I Love You and I'm VERY glad we've made it thru the horrible times, now we're moving on to the good times and we're better people for it.

I've learned that when you REALLY love someone you fight for them. Be it a physical fight or a fight for one's marriage and happiness - we've BOTH fought for what we have and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...usually.

We've both learned what it means to be full-time parents and to take everything our kids say with a grain of salt 'cause you know they're lyin'! If we win this parenting thing, MAYBE our children will grow up to at least think about putting us in a home that feeds us occasionally. Its us against them and right now THEY out number us, but we're trying REALLY hard not to let them win...I'm in it for the long haul and apparently you are too Hubby of mine! I Love You!

I am a PROUD Mama Today!

I'm ALWAYS proud of my children! ALWAYS I tell you! A couple of months ago I blogged twice about my trails and tribulations with my Middle Spawn who is in 3rd grade (I'd link them, but I'm not THAT smart).

Today I can honestly say that my trails are OVER...at least until Baby Spawn gets into 3rd grade. Today Middle Spawn got 3 (yes, I said 3) awards! He was SO excited! You would've thought he just won the lottery! Here's some pics...

Actually, I'm only gonna put these two up...I am SO proud of my son!

P.S. The last pic with the two smiling ladies...neither of them is his mom. His teacher is on the right and his counselor is on the left...Mommy doesn't do pictures very well (If one is taken of me it doesn't come out right - I ALWAYS look like the Bride Of Frankenstein screaming) (SHUT UP Queen Goob! I KNOW you're laughing at me...dork)

I'm Chair Dancing In My Office Right Now...

My evil Step-Spawn are spending Tuesday and Wednesday with my father-in-law!!! Woo-Hoo!!! Now Hubby and I can have 'Mommy & Daddy Time' withOUT the damn Hellions knocking on the door just to piss me off! WOO-HOO!!!!!

Why I Should STOP Watching Horror Movies

As many of you know I moved into a house at the beginning of February. I'm NORMALLY a full functioning, rational adult {maybe}. I LOVE horror movies! Michael Myers {NOT from Austin Powers and Shriek fame}, Freddy Kruger and Jason Vorhees were my 'boyfriends' growing up.

I saw the first Nightmare on Elm Street at a friends' 13th birthday party {there is a whole 'nother story about THAT night} and it scared the holy SHIT outta me! But I fell in love with the horror movies.

NOES, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Mirrors, Quarantine and many more have given me pause and made my heart rate accelerate. I FREAKING LOVE HORROR MOVIES!

Unfortunately my love for scary movies has spawned an overactive imagination. Case in point: The first day we moved into our wonderful new home I noticed that the windows in Girl Child's room were nailed shut and EVERY door in the house had a lock on the OUTSIDE of the door. I shook off the feeling of pending doom and went about my business of putting everything in the rooms they belong in.

Cut scene to later that night: I was taking a shower in my new home after the Spawn had gone to bed and Hubby had closed himself off in our room for the night. The house was settling and I'm thinking how wonderful its going to be for my family to FINALLY have room to run in the yard and grow up to be functioning adults.

THEN my imagination starts...was that creak I just heard the house settling or the ghost of some unfortunate soul that is trapped in the house after unspeakable things were done to it.

I peek out the curtain and sigh with relief that it was in fact my imagination. I go to put my head under the water to wash the nasty out of my hair and when I close my eyes a scene from an OBSCURE movie I saw in the 80's flashed in my head*(Yes, that's BLOOD coming out of the shower head):

Of course when I shook THAT thought off I told myself I was probably better off just taking a bath, THIS picture slammed into my head:

I can't honestly say I'll never watch horror movies again, cause that'd be a lie and I've got this whole guilt thing about lying...to certain people...at certain times. Yes, I'm a dork and no one really cares about my sick fascination with the horror genre but this is where I can put my thoughts to paper (so to speak) and not really give two flying fucks what people think.

I will leave you now with those disturbing pictures swirling thru your head. You're welcome!

* I searched the freaking Internet ALL morning because of this stupid movie! In case you're wondering it's a 1981 made for TV flick called "This House Possessed"

MY Bat Story

My friend Susan told a bat story on her blog earlier and now she's pressured me into telling my own...
We lived in Thomasville, Georgia (its near the FLA/GA state line) in this HUGE old Victorian house. My mom, sister, baby brother and his wife lived with us, along with Hubby and our 3 small children - THAT'S how big this house was.
One night I was reading to Girl Child her bedtime story (Goodnight Moon). After I'd read to her she looked up to the ceiling into the corner near her door and her eyes about bugged out of her head, so being the concerned parent I looked up to see what had made her eyes so big.
And there is was...the BIGGEST rat with wings (aka - BAT) that I'd ever seen! Needless to say I wasn't the shapely 23 yr old anymore, so I was a little more than out of shape. I grabbed my precious daughter and screamed like a little pansy girl while I was running down the stairs (Again, not an easy feat).
My big, bad baby brother was the only male over 2 years old in the house so it was his job to get rid of the damn thing! He proceeded to flush it out of her room and right into the ceiling fan in the downstairs living room.
The fan knocked the bat silly enough to fall onto the floor long enough for us to trap it in a pan and run it outside.
We let it go...or tried to. I guess the ceiling fan knocked it a little more than silly cause it killed the poor thing.
I'd only ever heard my mother scream like a girl when our pet cat left a headless gopher on her pillow when we lived in California. Let the record show that I have ADMITTED to screaming like a girl...ONCE!

Something Sweet

I stand in the doorway and watch the moonlight dance across you. I remember when I used to do the same thing when you were a tiny baby. My eyes cross over your face, taking everything in. You still have the heart shaped lips, you still have the blue-green eyes, but now your hair is almost down to your butt instead of the light fuzz that used to grace your head.
You are 12 today and it seems like yesterday that I was telling your grandmother that two pink lines just showed up on the stick. It seems like yesterday that I was fighting with your daddy about what to name you. I've watched you grow from a beautiful baby to a rotten pre-teen, but my love has never changed.
I remember when you came into the house, when we lived in Georgia, and said "I'n a Big Girl now mommy and big girls use the potty."
You threw your bottle in the trash when you wanted a bike. You wanted a big girl bed, so you learned how to potty.
My life changed SO much when you were born, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world! You are my daughter and today you are 12.
Where has the time gone? Will I wake up tomorrow and you be grown? Please don't grow up too fast, I want to enjoy this - your teenage years. I'm praying you and I get thru them in tact. I love you Rachel Katheryn, my daughter.

I LOVE Being the Evil Step-Monster!

The BEST thing about being the Evil Step-Monster?!?!
Oh, getting the ROTTEN Step-Spawn up at 6:45 AM (yes, I did the Evil Maleficent Laugh - HAD to!!!)
See, we moved at the beginning of February to a bigger house, had to - we inherited 2 more kids over 2 years. So this new house has got a hole in the wall on the inside AND out. The BAD thing (this is where I should have photos, but I don't) the hole on the inside was covered with an aluminum pie plate (with a clock face...I SWEAR!). The ouside...just the pie plate, but its painted to match the color of the house.
This morning the landlord is sending someone out to fix the hole in the walls...I got to get the ROTTEN Step-Spawn up out of the bed to straighten up just in case landlord comes over right after dawn.
THEY HATE ME!!!!
Now I just hope it gets done...otherwise Hubby will be TOTALLY pissed! hehehehehehe!

WHAT THE F*$^?!?!?!?!

Ok, EVERYONE who reads me knows that I have a passel of rotten spawn. 3 are mine with my Hubby, 2 of them are HIS with the BITCH! Hubby and I have a pretty healthy, active sex life. We actually DO like each other even after 13 yrs of togetherness.
OUR 3 children know that when the bedroom door is closed and the music is on loud enough...lets just say loud enough, DO NOT KNOCK ON THE DOOR FOR ANYTHING!!!
HIS 18 yr old decided to KNOCK on the fucking door at the MOMENT! OMFG!!!!
Was he bleeding? NOPE!
Well, was it an EMERGENCY? Apparently so!
He needed a piece of paper signed...he interrupted MY 'mommy & daddy time' for a FUCKING piece of paper?!?!?!?!
TEENAGERS!!! My spawn may not make it to their teenage years!
Stoopid fucking teenagers! Can't live with them and apparently its against the law to physically hurt them!

I had a hard time...

Picking my jaw up off the floor...

So, yesterday I blogged about wanting peace...on a deserted island with Jeff Probst for company. As I'm trolling google images for a picture of Mr. Probst I found this:

Now I don't know if this is a REAL picture of Mr. Probst, but OMG!!!! Belle has George Clooney, Queen Goob has Mark Wahlberg - can I PLEASE have Jeff Probst? Is THAT too much to ask for?

I Don't Ask For Much...Do I?

I just don't understand it...Not at all...
I don't ask for much - Really, I don't. But why can't hubby play the lottery, WIN the lottery and let me take a 6 month sabbatical. What would I do on a 6 month sabbatical? Well, besides sleep in until 10 in the morning, drink my pot of coffee while watching the birds frolic in the yard...yeah RIGHT! My 6 month leave of absence would be filled with getting the clothes folded and put away, getting the CRAP we've accumulated over 13 yrs of togetherness put away nicely (so we can at LEAST have company over), getting the house CLEAN...
UGH! I really don't ask for much...BUT if I had MY way THIS is how I'd spend my 6 month leave...

















Me...Jeff Probst...Deserted Island...But one with electricity for the coffee pot and fridge for the beer. Yes, I have the MAJOR hots for Jeff Probst! I watched him on Rock and Roll Jeopardy and I've watched Survivor for 9 seasons just because he's on it! Yes, I'm a freak - but I wouldn't have it any other way!