Hello World!!!! I'm back! Things have been a little off for me over the last...year...
Personally - things are good. My job is OK. My marriage is good. My kids are holy fricken terrors, but that's normal...for us anyway. I haven't had a lot to say, so I've been quiet. I've had a LOT on my mind - but haven't been able to find the words...or at least not repetitive words.
I don't want to go on and on about Ryan and our struggles, but things have gotten so much worse! He's in 6th grade this year and he's changing classes for the first time. He started school in August and at the open house when I got his schedule I almost fainted...they put my son in an ADVANCED Math class!!! WTF?!?!?!?!
I was a little worried about this, but I talked to his teacher and she said that they'd be going at a slow pace and he could stop her at anytime...the first week of school, he came home and had 4 HOURS of homework...ALL in Math! He said he could do it, so I let him try.
The first semester was GREAT!!! He made the A/B Honor Roll! The second week of the 2nd semester, he told me he just couldn't do it any more. Advanced Math was TOO hard! As you know, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome about a year and a half ago. He was also diagnosed with ADHD (but the INattentive part), so the doc put him on some meds. This helped him in his 5th grade year PASS the FCAT (which i TOTALLY HATE, BTW), but in doing that it also showed the district that he's smart, so they put him in the Advanced Math class and his head almost exploded!
The thing Ry's teachers know about him is that he wants EVERYTHING to be perfect, what Ry doesn't understand is that NOTHING is perfect! Its OK to make mistakes - you LEARN from them. But with the way his brain is wired, his thinking is different. He thinks he HAS to be perfect or he won't be loved or liked. His teachers LOVE him! He is SO smart and SO sweet and he tries SO hard.
Last week, I got 4 phone calls in 4 days...his guidance counselor and his teacher. Apparently he's been having 'episodes' where he'll get something wrong and he'll knock himself upside the head or (and THIS was a doozy) he'll hit himself upside the head with a dictionary...REALLY?!?!?! You couldn't find a SPOT CAN RUN book?!
I'm at my wits end! I don't know what to do! I've tried showing him things he can do to calm himself (his guidance counselor helped), but it doesn't seem to work! I mean, it will for that one instance, but long term? I've tried explaining to Ry that when he hits himself or gets upset about something, he's scaring the people around him and causing the teacher to not be able to teach the OTHER students...
I don't want 'specialized treatment' for him, I want HIM to GET it! There is a down side to all of this...he doesn't remember having the episodes a day or two later...or he'll remember he got upset, but doesn't remember why or what he did! I have a re-evaluation appointment set up for him with the Psychologist on March 26th...
Friday, March 9, 2012
Friday, December 10, 2010
2 Minutes With My Family...
Ok, so last Saturday Craig and I decided that it'd be fun and nice to take the rotten spawnage somewhere to eat - a restaurant. Craig works Saturday mornings, so we were taking them for lunch. I'd told the kids to be ready when Daddy got home. I'd taken a shower, gotten dressed and had decided to let Craig take an hour nap, cuz he works from like 2AM until 7PM Monday-Friday and from 2AM-12PM on Saturday - he was TIRED!
When Craig got up from his nap, we were ready to go...or so I thought...here is what happened in the 2 minutes right before we walked out the door. Keep in mind - that I am ready (I'm usually the last one dressed and ready to go, this time I was first!)
Katy: "Mom, do you know where my hair thingie is?"
Ryan: "Mom, can you help find me a pair of socks?"
Brad: "Mom, do you know where a long sleeved shirt is?"
Craig: " Crys, do I have a pair of clean jeans?"
I'd gotten everything everyone asked for and then asked: " Why does everyone ask ME where THEIR stuff is?"
The answer from my family: "You're the MOM - you're supposed to know where everything is"
UGH!!! They are 13 (K), 11 (R), 9 (B) and 41 (C) and yet I'M the one they ask where their stuff is!!!! Trying to teach them to be independent and clean up after themselves is NOT what I signed up for! The kids were SUPPOSED to stay little and NOT grow up! I don't know WHAT happened to Craig, but I guess I've got to train him too! Being the ONLY 'grown up' in my house is disausting. (yes, that IS a word - just ask VodkaMom)
Oh, well! I guess they'll EVENTUALLY get it - but I'm not holding my breath. I LOVE my family, really!
When Craig got up from his nap, we were ready to go...or so I thought...here is what happened in the 2 minutes right before we walked out the door. Keep in mind - that I am ready (I'm usually the last one dressed and ready to go, this time I was first!)
Katy: "Mom, do you know where my hair thingie is?"
Ryan: "Mom, can you help find me a pair of socks?"
Brad: "Mom, do you know where a long sleeved shirt is?"
Craig: " Crys, do I have a pair of clean jeans?"
I'd gotten everything everyone asked for and then asked: " Why does everyone ask ME where THEIR stuff is?"
The answer from my family: "You're the MOM - you're supposed to know where everything is"
UGH!!! They are 13 (K), 11 (R), 9 (B) and 41 (C) and yet I'M the one they ask where their stuff is!!!! Trying to teach them to be independent and clean up after themselves is NOT what I signed up for! The kids were SUPPOSED to stay little and NOT grow up! I don't know WHAT happened to Craig, but I guess I've got to train him too! Being the ONLY 'grown up' in my house is disausting. (yes, that IS a word - just ask VodkaMom)
Oh, well! I guess they'll EVENTUALLY get it - but I'm not holding my breath. I LOVE my family, really!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Quick Post - NOT Written By Me
My oldest son, Ryan, had an essay to write about a relationship he has with one of his grandparents. He has 2 that he's close to, my husband's dad and my mom - he chose my mom. His teacher picked 3 essays to go into the contest for a $50.00 savings bond and one of them is Ryan's. I thought I'd share with you what he wrote.
On a side note, I WILL be posting some updates VERY soon! I have a LOT of voices in my head that need to get out - I just haven't gotten them straight yet. Anyway, here's Ryan's essay, I hope you enjoy it:
An Awesome Grandmother
When I was born on June 30th, 1999 my Grandma was the only one in the room with my mom when I was born. My dad was out of town. He’d left and my mom went to work. Dad drove an 18 wheeler and my mom worked at a real T.V. Station. My grandma stayed with my mom for 6 hours after I was born, just so she could see me before she went to work.
I am my grandmother’s oldest grandson. She was the first one to hold me even before my own mother! We lived right next door to my grandma for a while after I was born. She kept telling me the nicest things through my entire childhood. One was that she fell in love with my blue eyes and my blond hair, just like my mom’s (my face is identical as my mom’s face).
My grandma is really special to me because she’s fun, dedicated to her grandbabies, is an amazing cook (She won first place in three baking competitions), she’s kind to other people and she always tries to find the best way to treat her grandkids when they come to visit her. Sometimes I get to go to her house in Madison, Florida occasionally. Every time I go, I make sure to help her with my baby cousins, Katelyn and Kapri. She likes the stories I make up and the pictures I draw her. My grandma. She always thinks my imagination is really amazing. She tells me she has never seen anything that amazing and or beautiful in her entire life. That’s why I think about her every day for all my life. She is sweet and incredible to me and to my big sister, Katy and my little brother Brad. They both are treated the same way as me and they love her the very same way that I love her.
On a side note, I WILL be posting some updates VERY soon! I have a LOT of voices in my head that need to get out - I just haven't gotten them straight yet. Anyway, here's Ryan's essay, I hope you enjoy it:
An Awesome Grandmother
When I was born on June 30th, 1999 my Grandma was the only one in the room with my mom when I was born. My dad was out of town. He’d left and my mom went to work. Dad drove an 18 wheeler and my mom worked at a real T.V. Station. My grandma stayed with my mom for 6 hours after I was born, just so she could see me before she went to work.
I am my grandmother’s oldest grandson. She was the first one to hold me even before my own mother! We lived right next door to my grandma for a while after I was born. She kept telling me the nicest things through my entire childhood. One was that she fell in love with my blue eyes and my blond hair, just like my mom’s (my face is identical as my mom’s face).
My grandma is really special to me because she’s fun, dedicated to her grandbabies, is an amazing cook (She won first place in three baking competitions), she’s kind to other people and she always tries to find the best way to treat her grandkids when they come to visit her. Sometimes I get to go to her house in Madison, Florida occasionally. Every time I go, I make sure to help her with my baby cousins, Katelyn and Kapri. She likes the stories I make up and the pictures I draw her. My grandma. She always thinks my imagination is really amazing. She tells me she has never seen anything that amazing and or beautiful in her entire life. That’s why I think about her every day for all my life. She is sweet and incredible to me and to my big sister, Katy and my little brother Brad. They both are treated the same way as me and they love her the very same way that I love her.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
It Really Isn't My Fault
JOURNAL ENTRY - Saturday August 14, 2010 9:09pm
My dumb ass self has caused me anxiety. I took Ryan to his doctor visit Wednesday. He gave me a prescription for some ADD meds for Ryan. I was supposed to give him his meds first thing this morning, I ended up getting busy with getting his blood work done and work...excuses, excuses. I gave him his medicine at 12:30 this afternoon. The doc told me it COULD cause insomnia (Ryan is my HARD sleeper - when its bedtime, he goes to bed and is RIGHT to sleep). I asked the pharmacist if it was too late to give it to him. He said if I wanted to give Ryan the meds at 7AM Monday, it was ok to give the meds to him at 12:30 today, but I had to give it to him tomorrow (8/15/10) at 10 AM.
So, I gave Ryan this new medication that's for ADHD. I've NEVER known that Ryan HAD ADHD. Yes, he was different. His temper is WAY quicker than mine. His fuse is an eyelash length. It can get VERY scary. All the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome explain my son. I didn't have a word for what's 'wrong' with him. His difference. I've always been the one who talks Ryan down from what/whoever has aggravated him. He doesn't want to disappoint me. But, I'm afraid I've been a HUGE disappointment to him.
Rationally, I know that NONE of this is my fault. But I'm his mother, I should've gotten him help sooner. I'm torn. I have to be the strong one. The one who makes the hurts feel better with a kiss and a band-aid. I'm the one who makes the monsters under the bed and in the nightmares go away. I'm the one they cry for when they're sick and I couldn't get my son the help he needed. See? The mother part of me is strong. I LOVE being a mother. As much as I bitch and moan, I really wouldn't have it any other way. If I could cut the fights between Katy and Brad - I'd be SuperMom!
I'm super paranoid about giving Ryan medication. I have VERY strong feelings about medication. But, I TRUST my doctor and his advice, even if it is later than recommended. But follow the advice, I did. I filled the prescription and gave him a pill...and proceeded to keep an eye on him for the rest of the afternoon. The afternoon passed and things were cool. Craig and I napped for a short while. When Craig got up he was hungry so he grilled a hamburger for himself...and the rest of the bunch. We went grocery shopping and then when we got home, outside.
Ryan and Brad came out to play ball with the bats Craig got them. I came inside and was watching TV. At about 7-7:30, I hear Ryan in the living room freaking out and CRYING! He's playing baseball on the Wii and flipping out because he can't hit a home run. He's standing in the middle of the living room sweaty (from playing and hitting the ball HARD & FAR outside), eyes wide, pupils dilated, dancing on the balls of his feet, twitching his fingers of his left hand and trying to hit home runs with his right, face flushed.
I go over to him and try to calm him down. In the process of this he hits me and starts SCREAMING that he's sorry. I can see the pulse in his neck shoot into triple time and it freaking SCARES the holy hell out of me! I yank the controller off his hand and walk him back into his room. The whole 10-15 steps he's screaming he's sorry. I yell at him to 'sit down and calm the hell down before you give yourself a heart attack! You're scaring the hell out of everyone and ESPECIALLY me!" Manipulative? Yes! The ONLY thing Ryan understands during his 'episodes' is that its bothering me or scaring me and he calms down. I use what I can to make sure Ryan doesn't hurt himself or anyone else. Is it wrong? Who is to say? My parenting skills are NOT perfect, but I'm doing the best I can.
What prompted me to start this was to document what's happening to Ryan and if his medication is helping him, was my watching him and keeping an eye on him and what the doc said about the side effects. He came outside after he and Brad had finished what they were doing (Spider man scrapbook dad bought home) and he started telling me in DETAIL what his thoughts were and EVERYTHING he and Brad had said.
While he was talking to me, he was chewing his tongue (when I said something to him it was because one of his teeth is loose), his eyes darted back and forth, his fingers kept twitching and his hands just NEVER stayed still! I can't even begin to imagine what he's feeling. The only thing he's EVER been this excited about are the Transformers, now its EVERYTHING.
I sound ungrateful. He's healthy and he LOVES me. But, you have to understand, Ryan doesn't interact with people. He'd rather stay in his room and do his own thing than play with ANYONE. He's been out of his room doing things with people and talking 90 miles to nothing. I'm hoping his meds and the therapy, I'll be able to help him...
This is something I wrote down Saturday because of the twitching. I want to keep a record of EVERYTHING that happens while Ryan is going thru this transition period. I'm hoping that we won't have to try 50 million medications to find the one that'll help him. I got a hold of a child psychologist yesterday and I have an appointment with her this afternoon (she meets with the parents before the child to get a 'feel' of the kid). I'm doing what I can to make sure Ryan gets the help he needs to function like a normal human being.
I have some VERY good bloggy friends. Susan, Country Mouse and VodkaMom...ya'll are SO awesome! Your kind words and emails have helped this mother go from "What the hell did I do?" to "I KNOW its not his fault and I'm HELPING him now". Thank you seems like such a small word for the uplifting you've given me, but it's the only word that I have. THANK YOU!
My dumb ass self has caused me anxiety. I took Ryan to his doctor visit Wednesday. He gave me a prescription for some ADD meds for Ryan. I was supposed to give him his meds first thing this morning, I ended up getting busy with getting his blood work done and work...excuses, excuses. I gave him his medicine at 12:30 this afternoon. The doc told me it COULD cause insomnia (Ryan is my HARD sleeper - when its bedtime, he goes to bed and is RIGHT to sleep). I asked the pharmacist if it was too late to give it to him. He said if I wanted to give Ryan the meds at 7AM Monday, it was ok to give the meds to him at 12:30 today, but I had to give it to him tomorrow (8/15/10) at 10 AM.
So, I gave Ryan this new medication that's for ADHD. I've NEVER known that Ryan HAD ADHD. Yes, he was different. His temper is WAY quicker than mine. His fuse is an eyelash length. It can get VERY scary. All the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome explain my son. I didn't have a word for what's 'wrong' with him. His difference. I've always been the one who talks Ryan down from what/whoever has aggravated him. He doesn't want to disappoint me. But, I'm afraid I've been a HUGE disappointment to him.
Rationally, I know that NONE of this is my fault. But I'm his mother, I should've gotten him help sooner. I'm torn. I have to be the strong one. The one who makes the hurts feel better with a kiss and a band-aid. I'm the one who makes the monsters under the bed and in the nightmares go away. I'm the one they cry for when they're sick and I couldn't get my son the help he needed. See? The mother part of me is strong. I LOVE being a mother. As much as I bitch and moan, I really wouldn't have it any other way. If I could cut the fights between Katy and Brad - I'd be SuperMom!
I'm super paranoid about giving Ryan medication. I have VERY strong feelings about medication. But, I TRUST my doctor and his advice, even if it is later than recommended. But follow the advice, I did. I filled the prescription and gave him a pill...and proceeded to keep an eye on him for the rest of the afternoon. The afternoon passed and things were cool. Craig and I napped for a short while. When Craig got up he was hungry so he grilled a hamburger for himself...and the rest of the bunch. We went grocery shopping and then when we got home, outside.
Ryan and Brad came out to play ball with the bats Craig got them. I came inside and was watching TV. At about 7-7:30, I hear Ryan in the living room freaking out and CRYING! He's playing baseball on the Wii and flipping out because he can't hit a home run. He's standing in the middle of the living room sweaty (from playing and hitting the ball HARD & FAR outside), eyes wide, pupils dilated, dancing on the balls of his feet, twitching his fingers of his left hand and trying to hit home runs with his right, face flushed.
I go over to him and try to calm him down. In the process of this he hits me and starts SCREAMING that he's sorry. I can see the pulse in his neck shoot into triple time and it freaking SCARES the holy hell out of me! I yank the controller off his hand and walk him back into his room. The whole 10-15 steps he's screaming he's sorry. I yell at him to 'sit down and calm the hell down before you give yourself a heart attack! You're scaring the hell out of everyone and ESPECIALLY me!" Manipulative? Yes! The ONLY thing Ryan understands during his 'episodes' is that its bothering me or scaring me and he calms down. I use what I can to make sure Ryan doesn't hurt himself or anyone else. Is it wrong? Who is to say? My parenting skills are NOT perfect, but I'm doing the best I can.
What prompted me to start this was to document what's happening to Ryan and if his medication is helping him, was my watching him and keeping an eye on him and what the doc said about the side effects. He came outside after he and Brad had finished what they were doing (Spider man scrapbook dad bought home) and he started telling me in DETAIL what his thoughts were and EVERYTHING he and Brad had said.
While he was talking to me, he was chewing his tongue (when I said something to him it was because one of his teeth is loose), his eyes darted back and forth, his fingers kept twitching and his hands just NEVER stayed still! I can't even begin to imagine what he's feeling. The only thing he's EVER been this excited about are the Transformers, now its EVERYTHING.
I sound ungrateful. He's healthy and he LOVES me. But, you have to understand, Ryan doesn't interact with people. He'd rather stay in his room and do his own thing than play with ANYONE. He's been out of his room doing things with people and talking 90 miles to nothing. I'm hoping his meds and the therapy, I'll be able to help him...
This is something I wrote down Saturday because of the twitching. I want to keep a record of EVERYTHING that happens while Ryan is going thru this transition period. I'm hoping that we won't have to try 50 million medications to find the one that'll help him. I got a hold of a child psychologist yesterday and I have an appointment with her this afternoon (she meets with the parents before the child to get a 'feel' of the kid). I'm doing what I can to make sure Ryan gets the help he needs to function like a normal human being.
I have some VERY good bloggy friends. Susan, Country Mouse and VodkaMom...ya'll are SO awesome! Your kind words and emails have helped this mother go from "What the hell did I do?" to "I KNOW its not his fault and I'm HELPING him now". Thank you seems like such a small word for the uplifting you've given me, but it's the only word that I have. THANK YOU!
Monday, July 26, 2010
A Mother’s Anxiety
As a mother, you worry about your children. Starting from the moment you hear their heartbeat at the doctor’s office. You wonder what this child is going to be like. Is he/she going to be like their sister/brother? Will this one give you a hard time? Will he/she be colicky? Will they be a happy baby?
Then you worry when the benchmarks that are supposed to be made, aren’t. You ask your pediatrician at the time, if everything is ok with your child and he assures you that it is. Your son is perfect. Then you realize, he’s not talking like he should for a 2 yr old. No one seems to understand him, but you. Then your mother tells you that Mozart (or Einstein) didn’t talk until he was 4 and he was a GENIUS! *{PLEASE NOTE: I don’t know if this is true or not, haven’t looked it up. Don’t care to know – it made me feel better at the time, so that’s all that matters}
You decide to enroll your son in Head Start – it helped his sister come out of her shell, maybe it’ll help him to. He gets accepted because his social skills aren’t developed like they should be. Then he gets into Pre-K because he needs more help with ‘development’. Everything is good until Kindergarten…you walk into your son’s Kindergarten class for a parent/teacher conference and you hear her telling your child that he’s stupid and won’t learn anything! Needless to say, you get your son out of that teacher’s room. He repeats kindergarten only because he’s not "ready for first grade".
You ask and beg for help for your son because SOMETHING is wrong. You’ve known it from the beginning. Now, 11 years later you MAY have a clue as to what’s wrong and it’s scared you senseless. You lay in bed at night thinking everything a mother would…Why didn’t I catch this sooner? Why did it take 11 years to get the help he needed? Have you hurt your son worse by not getting him help?
Mother’s Guilt – it’ll eat you alive EVERY time. I have it and it makes me cry when I think about everything my son has gone thru for the last 11 years. I’m trying to get him help, but I’m lost. I took him to a child psychologist. I couldn’t take the phone calls from his teacher saying he was hitting his head against the concrete wall because he got something wrong on a quiz she gave. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t grasping the things that were taught at school that day.
I THINK I understand now why my wonderful son is having problems. The child psychologists report stated that he has ADHD, OCD and (MAYBE) Asperger’s…I know its NOT my fault – but what else am I to think? If my mother read this she’d tell me I am a great mom. I try to be, it’s hard. I’m scared…I’ve vowed to do everything I can for my children, but what if I fail? What if it's just not enough?
Have I told you I’m freaking SCARED?!?!?!?! What if it’s not enough? What if my everything isn’t what he needs? I can only pray and hope that the love I give my son and the doctor’s appointments don’t cut into his college fund (a try at humor).
Then you worry when the benchmarks that are supposed to be made, aren’t. You ask your pediatrician at the time, if everything is ok with your child and he assures you that it is. Your son is perfect. Then you realize, he’s not talking like he should for a 2 yr old. No one seems to understand him, but you. Then your mother tells you that Mozart (or Einstein) didn’t talk until he was 4 and he was a GENIUS! *{PLEASE NOTE: I don’t know if this is true or not, haven’t looked it up. Don’t care to know – it made me feel better at the time, so that’s all that matters}
You decide to enroll your son in Head Start – it helped his sister come out of her shell, maybe it’ll help him to. He gets accepted because his social skills aren’t developed like they should be. Then he gets into Pre-K because he needs more help with ‘development’. Everything is good until Kindergarten…you walk into your son’s Kindergarten class for a parent/teacher conference and you hear her telling your child that he’s stupid and won’t learn anything! Needless to say, you get your son out of that teacher’s room. He repeats kindergarten only because he’s not "ready for first grade".
You ask and beg for help for your son because SOMETHING is wrong. You’ve known it from the beginning. Now, 11 years later you MAY have a clue as to what’s wrong and it’s scared you senseless. You lay in bed at night thinking everything a mother would…Why didn’t I catch this sooner? Why did it take 11 years to get the help he needed? Have you hurt your son worse by not getting him help?
Mother’s Guilt – it’ll eat you alive EVERY time. I have it and it makes me cry when I think about everything my son has gone thru for the last 11 years. I’m trying to get him help, but I’m lost. I took him to a child psychologist. I couldn’t take the phone calls from his teacher saying he was hitting his head against the concrete wall because he got something wrong on a quiz she gave. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t grasping the things that were taught at school that day.
I THINK I understand now why my wonderful son is having problems. The child psychologists report stated that he has ADHD, OCD and (MAYBE) Asperger’s…I know its NOT my fault – but what else am I to think? If my mother read this she’d tell me I am a great mom. I try to be, it’s hard. I’m scared…I’ve vowed to do everything I can for my children, but what if I fail? What if it's just not enough?
Have I told you I’m freaking SCARED?!?!?!?! What if it’s not enough? What if my everything isn’t what he needs? I can only pray and hope that the love I give my son and the doctor’s appointments don’t cut into his college fund (a try at humor).
Monday, June 21, 2010
GOODBYE, HANNAH – HELLO, MILEY!
I am proud to admit, I LOVE Miley Cyrus! This is one girl that I don’t mind my 13 year old daughter to look up to. Note to those who think I’m a bad mom because of that last sentence: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY – THAT IS MY OPINION AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT – GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG!
Now, I told my daughter that when Miley’s new CD/DVD combo comes out – I’m getting it…FOR ME! That’s right, people…a 37 yr old woman is buying Miley Cyrus stuff for herself! Miley has been getting a LOT of criticism for the way she dresses and the way she dances…geez, people! Get off her case! Yes, she’s 17 – but she’s no different than any other teen pop princess that has shed her little girl image. Yes, people think ‘Oh she’s gonna be just like Britney or Lindsay’… to those people I say ‘Get a FREAKING life already!’
I recorded the Friday Good Morning America segment that she was on (which she ROCKED), then the Regis and Kelly and then that night (last Friday) I recorded the Live from the O2 concert in London. I was CRYING while I watched it…I actually feel BAD for this girl! She’s giving everything she has to her fans and you can see how much they love her! I saw little girls being held up by their daddy’s and the daddy’s were singing right along! This girl stormed into our lives as an 11 yr old girl on Hannah Montana and we’ve all watched her grow up on that show. Now, she wants to get out of the mold that Disney put her in and everyone expects her to just STAY Hannah Montana? I don’t think so!
People say ‘Where are her Parents?’…uh, right behind the stage watching their daughter mesmerize fans and being SO proud of her! Let me ask you parents something…if you had the means and opportunity to; wouldn’t you do EVERYTHING in your power to help your child realize their dreams? If so, how are you any different than the Cyrus parents? They have the means to make sure ALL their children get to realize their dreams AND they're making sure that they live happy, meaningful lives.
My daughter wants to go to Hollyweird and be an actress. If I had the money, I’d do EVERYTHING I could to help her! As it is, she’s stuck in this little town until she’s 18…or she graduates high school (whichever comes first). I have told her for her graduation present I’d take her to Hollywood and help her as much as I can to get into the ‘business’. I know being an actress is hard. No, I’ve never been one, but my dream as a child was to be an actress as well. No, my daughter doesn’t want Hollywood for me – it’s all her idea. I’ve tried telling her how awful the business is, how horrible people can be to an actress and how she’ll have to always be ‘good’ because of the paparazzi…she doesn’t care – she wants this! If my child wants to be an actress, I’m not gonna stop her – I’ll pray for her and wish her the best and be there for her when things get ugly. I don’t think Miley is a BAD role model for girls, I just hope when my daughter takes Hollyweird by storm, she takes things in stride and with a grain of salt.
The people who criticize others have nothing else to do in their lives and they enjoy knocking people down. The words hurt and they’re mean, but Miley laughs it off. Her critics don’t really ‘know’ her (of course, neither do I) and yet they say harsh and ugly things about her. Have they SEEN the way she is with her fans?! She LOVES them and they LOVE her! Miley Cyrus as a brand is different from Miley Cyrus the person. My daughter and I have ALWAYS talked about why people talk bad about others, why people criticize others…they’re mean and don’t like people (that’s what she came up with).
When Eminem first came out – oh, he was such a BAD guy…his lyrics talked about him wanting to kill his wife or rape his mom. Yes, those lyrics were not very good ones, but if you LISTEN to his words he’s talking about pain and heartache. When my sister-in-law gave me ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ there was a collective gasp from the family members, because they’d heard Eminem was a BAD guy and his lyrics were the devil…whatever people, he’s a fricken artist! Needless to say, I LOVE Eminem as well. I’ve got most of his CD’s and the things he does with lyrics is AMAZING!!! It doesn’t hurt that he’s exactly one week older than I am and FINE as all get out! I’ve told my children that the way Eminem expresses himself may not be in the way anyone else would, but that doesn’t mean he’s a BAD person.
The way actors and singers are on stage, doesn’t mean that’s how they are in real life. If you don’t like the way Miley is dressing now – don’t buy her stuff, don’t watch her videos! She seems like a very grounded girl and I wouldn’t mind her being my daughters friend. Her parents seem to be VERY proud of her and her fans LOVE her. I LOVE MILEY CYRUS, EMINEM AND BRET MICHAELS!!! If you don’t like my blog, get off it!
Now, I told my daughter that when Miley’s new CD/DVD combo comes out – I’m getting it…FOR ME! That’s right, people…a 37 yr old woman is buying Miley Cyrus stuff for herself! Miley has been getting a LOT of criticism for the way she dresses and the way she dances…geez, people! Get off her case! Yes, she’s 17 – but she’s no different than any other teen pop princess that has shed her little girl image. Yes, people think ‘Oh she’s gonna be just like Britney or Lindsay’… to those people I say ‘Get a FREAKING life already!’
I recorded the Friday Good Morning America segment that she was on (which she ROCKED), then the Regis and Kelly and then that night (last Friday) I recorded the Live from the O2 concert in London. I was CRYING while I watched it…I actually feel BAD for this girl! She’s giving everything she has to her fans and you can see how much they love her! I saw little girls being held up by their daddy’s and the daddy’s were singing right along! This girl stormed into our lives as an 11 yr old girl on Hannah Montana and we’ve all watched her grow up on that show. Now, she wants to get out of the mold that Disney put her in and everyone expects her to just STAY Hannah Montana? I don’t think so!
People say ‘Where are her Parents?’…uh, right behind the stage watching their daughter mesmerize fans and being SO proud of her! Let me ask you parents something…if you had the means and opportunity to; wouldn’t you do EVERYTHING in your power to help your child realize their dreams? If so, how are you any different than the Cyrus parents? They have the means to make sure ALL their children get to realize their dreams AND they're making sure that they live happy, meaningful lives.
My daughter wants to go to Hollyweird and be an actress. If I had the money, I’d do EVERYTHING I could to help her! As it is, she’s stuck in this little town until she’s 18…or she graduates high school (whichever comes first). I have told her for her graduation present I’d take her to Hollywood and help her as much as I can to get into the ‘business’. I know being an actress is hard. No, I’ve never been one, but my dream as a child was to be an actress as well. No, my daughter doesn’t want Hollywood for me – it’s all her idea. I’ve tried telling her how awful the business is, how horrible people can be to an actress and how she’ll have to always be ‘good’ because of the paparazzi…she doesn’t care – she wants this! If my child wants to be an actress, I’m not gonna stop her – I’ll pray for her and wish her the best and be there for her when things get ugly. I don’t think Miley is a BAD role model for girls, I just hope when my daughter takes Hollyweird by storm, she takes things in stride and with a grain of salt.
The people who criticize others have nothing else to do in their lives and they enjoy knocking people down. The words hurt and they’re mean, but Miley laughs it off. Her critics don’t really ‘know’ her (of course, neither do I) and yet they say harsh and ugly things about her. Have they SEEN the way she is with her fans?! She LOVES them and they LOVE her! Miley Cyrus as a brand is different from Miley Cyrus the person. My daughter and I have ALWAYS talked about why people talk bad about others, why people criticize others…they’re mean and don’t like people (that’s what she came up with).
When Eminem first came out – oh, he was such a BAD guy…his lyrics talked about him wanting to kill his wife or rape his mom. Yes, those lyrics were not very good ones, but if you LISTEN to his words he’s talking about pain and heartache. When my sister-in-law gave me ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ there was a collective gasp from the family members, because they’d heard Eminem was a BAD guy and his lyrics were the devil…whatever people, he’s a fricken artist! Needless to say, I LOVE Eminem as well. I’ve got most of his CD’s and the things he does with lyrics is AMAZING!!! It doesn’t hurt that he’s exactly one week older than I am and FINE as all get out! I’ve told my children that the way Eminem expresses himself may not be in the way anyone else would, but that doesn’t mean he’s a BAD person.
The way actors and singers are on stage, doesn’t mean that’s how they are in real life. If you don’t like the way Miley is dressing now – don’t buy her stuff, don’t watch her videos! She seems like a very grounded girl and I wouldn’t mind her being my daughters friend. Her parents seem to be VERY proud of her and her fans LOVE her. I LOVE MILEY CYRUS, EMINEM AND BRET MICHAELS!!! If you don’t like my blog, get off it!
Monday, May 3, 2010
WARNING: Sappy, Lovey, Dovey Shit Inside: Read If You Dare
Its not very often that I get sappy. I'm not a girlie girl. I'd rather watch/play football than go shopping. Hell, I'd rather have my eye lashes plucked out by something from one of my horror movies. But this weekend, I was thinking all sappy, lovey, dovey shit and figured I'd share.
If I had one wish, I'd wish....well, to be honest I'd wish that I had enough money to live comfortably and give my children the best life possible. BUT since I'm broke as hell and no one I know has lots of money they're giving to me when they die...I wish everyone could experience 'The Love' just once.
I was talking to my daughter the other day and we were listening to the radio when a Tim McGraw song came on...he says something about never forgetting your first love. I told my daughter that I've never forgotten mine...she thought I was talking about her daddy and as much as I do love him, he's not my first love.
Brent Williamson was my first love. He was my first serious boyfriend when I was 15-17. We went to the same high school together and he was FINE!!! He had blonde hair and brown eyes...kinda reminded me of John Schneider and I LOVED me some Bo Duke when I was growing up. Brent reminded me of Bo. We did some pretty crazy things, but I honestly did love him. It broke my heart when we moved to a different city and we ended breaking up. But yes, Brent Williamson was my first love.
Fast forward MANY years and I was gobsmacked when I met Craig. Craig is everything different. He's dark. His eyes, his hair and his skin (his NATURAL tan? I LOVE IT!). His sense of humor. He enjoys the same things I do, except reading...I LOVE to read, he could live without it...unless its AJC or about the DAWGS.
He's the father of my 3 children and he's been my husband for 14 years. I've never thought I'd be married this long...to the same person. When I pictured my life growing up, I had my large passel of kids, but I never saw a dad in the picture. I grew up with a single mother and not a real father figure around - that could be why I never saw a dad for my kids.
As young girls we read about the happily ever after, which BTW is a crock of BULLSHIT! I've never believed in happily ever after...happily until one of us gets tired of the other yes. but looking at Craig outside playing Frisbee with the kids, 'helping' them play on the XBox, playing Uno or even just giving a kid a hug. My heart felt this weird unexplainable feeling...
SAP!!! It was feeling SAPPY!!!! UGH! I've lived my WHOLE life without the SAP!!! Why now?!?!?! My inner voice was screaming! But my heart was melting just a little...until Craig turned his head to me and winked! He freaking WINKED at me and my heart flipped! Many of you know that my marriage hasn't always been a happy one, but we've fought for it and that's what's made us who we are.
As a mother you fight for your children. As a friend you fight for the wrong felt by another. As a wife, you fight for {and occasionally with} your husband. But if you honestly deep down in the black pit of your heart love your mate - you fight everything and everyone together. I thought my heart was a black hole, but somehow over the last 15 years Craig has filled that hole. With laughter, children and love. THAT'S True Love.
Don't get me wrong, just because I'm feeling this today, doesn't mean that I won't snap your freaking head off tomorrow! I just wanted people to know that I actually DO have a heart! And I do know the meaning of love and happiness and snark! This is disgusting...I've gotta go kick someone or yell at someone...
If I had one wish, I'd wish....well, to be honest I'd wish that I had enough money to live comfortably and give my children the best life possible. BUT since I'm broke as hell and no one I know has lots of money they're giving to me when they die...I wish everyone could experience 'The Love' just once.
I was talking to my daughter the other day and we were listening to the radio when a Tim McGraw song came on...he says something about never forgetting your first love. I told my daughter that I've never forgotten mine...she thought I was talking about her daddy and as much as I do love him, he's not my first love.
Brent Williamson was my first love. He was my first serious boyfriend when I was 15-17. We went to the same high school together and he was FINE!!! He had blonde hair and brown eyes...kinda reminded me of John Schneider and I LOVED me some Bo Duke when I was growing up. Brent reminded me of Bo. We did some pretty crazy things, but I honestly did love him. It broke my heart when we moved to a different city and we ended breaking up. But yes, Brent Williamson was my first love.
Fast forward MANY years and I was gobsmacked when I met Craig. Craig is everything different. He's dark. His eyes, his hair and his skin (his NATURAL tan? I LOVE IT!). His sense of humor. He enjoys the same things I do, except reading...I LOVE to read, he could live without it...unless its AJC or about the DAWGS.
He's the father of my 3 children and he's been my husband for 14 years. I've never thought I'd be married this long...to the same person. When I pictured my life growing up, I had my large passel of kids, but I never saw a dad in the picture. I grew up with a single mother and not a real father figure around - that could be why I never saw a dad for my kids.
As young girls we read about the happily ever after, which BTW is a crock of BULLSHIT! I've never believed in happily ever after...happily until one of us gets tired of the other yes. but looking at Craig outside playing Frisbee with the kids, 'helping' them play on the XBox, playing Uno or even just giving a kid a hug. My heart felt this weird unexplainable feeling...
SAP!!! It was feeling SAPPY!!!! UGH! I've lived my WHOLE life without the SAP!!! Why now?!?!?! My inner voice was screaming! But my heart was melting just a little...until Craig turned his head to me and winked! He freaking WINKED at me and my heart flipped! Many of you know that my marriage hasn't always been a happy one, but we've fought for it and that's what's made us who we are.
As a mother you fight for your children. As a friend you fight for the wrong felt by another. As a wife, you fight for {and occasionally with} your husband. But if you honestly deep down in the black pit of your heart love your mate - you fight everything and everyone together. I thought my heart was a black hole, but somehow over the last 15 years Craig has filled that hole. With laughter, children and love. THAT'S True Love.
Don't get me wrong, just because I'm feeling this today, doesn't mean that I won't snap your freaking head off tomorrow! I just wanted people to know that I actually DO have a heart! And I do know the meaning of love and happiness and snark! This is disgusting...I've gotta go kick someone or yell at someone...
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