Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I LOVE Being A Woman...

But I HATE being female! 20-25 days out of the month, I'm normal (or whatever passes for normal these days) but the OTHER 5-10 days...I'm a FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK!!!

I do NOT cry over every little thing
I do NOT have the top of my head pop off for a minor infraction (for example: Step-Spawn NOT making tea before he goes to bed even AFTER dad has told him to - therefore NO tea in the mornings for younger brother Spawn to have with breakfast {I KNOW they should probably be drinking juice or something healthy - sue me!})
I do NOT want to slaughter every person on the road getting in my way as I go to work.
I'm a half way pleasant person

I DO cry over every little thing (even squirrels dead on the highway)
The top of my head blows COMPLETELY off over EVERYTHING!
I want more than anything the idiot who cut me off to get something VERY nasty and crap himself at work...

Here's the thing: Last night I woke up CRYING my eyes out over a bad dream that involved my daughter. I know, mother's intuition is a strong thing and I DO listen to mine. I called my mom {EVERYONE knows that NO good can come from a phone call in the middle of the night}. She didn't answer - her sleep meds. No big, I texted her and said I was just a little worried about Katie. The FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK (FEW) side of me wouldn't let me sleep. The dream kept playing over and over in my head and it kept getting worse!

When Katie was born the doc was in a hurry to start her vacation and put one of those vacuum things on Katie's head (she was stuck), put BOTH feet at the end of my bed and yanked...hard...twice! The thing slipped off her head both times and now she has a mark on her head. Her pediatrician at the time thought it looked a little wrong, so he had it biopsied when she was 18 months old.

THAT place didn't use anything to numb it and yanked an inch of this thing out of her head...then they couldn't get it to stop bleeding...NICE!!! Anyway, she's had this birthmark on her head and its been fine...until the other day when Katie came to me and said it was itching. I lifted her mane of hair and yes, the spot was a little red. It wasn't feverish, but it did itch a little.

THAT was what started the dream. It wasn't a pleasant one, obviously. This dream kept playing in my head and getting worse and worse! I was freaking CRYING my eyes out over something that I THOUGHT about! See why I HATE being female? At about 2AM the RATIONAL part of my brain had finally had enough! It bitch slapped the FEW side and said: "That spot is probably irritated because she recently colored her hair...RED!! You stoopid moron! Now quit the freaking crying and let us get some sleep!"

See?!?!?! When I'm rational and actually THINK about things, I know she's fine and nothing is gonna happen to her. If there was something wrong, my mom would've called me in a heartbeat! Katie called at 6:30 this morning. As soon as I heard her, "Hey, Mommy" I knew everything was OK. The FEW side of me? Yeah - she was crying in a corner until I talked to Katie.

The moral of the story: don't let your kids out of your sight when you're being 'FEMALE'!


Anonymous said...

You are such a freak, all the time. But I do understand those emotional moments when your "mother's intuition" or just one too many horror movies or sometimes just the fact that your child is out of your sight can make you "feel" things that cause bad dreams, I've had way too many of those myself. But seriously, are you taking your meds? Every day like your suppose to? Just checking. And after this weekend, I'm convinced Katie is fine, it's you who has problems. Just kidding. I know that kids are always different for others than for moms. Anyway, I saw no signs of the "monster Katie" this weekend, she was very good, helpful and had a good attitude. Just wanted you to know.



country mouse said...

I read this several days ago. And again yesterday. And again today. And every time I read it I have a memory of times when I was suddenly worried about one of my kids and had to call RIGHT NOW to make sure everything was okay. And I always tell my kids, "chalk it up to being a mom and being a woman."

Fortunately, my daughter understands it now. Unfortunately, my sons are boys and will never get it : )