Monday, October 19, 2009

From My Mom...

This time 40 (nah, just kidding) 37 years ago, I was a terrified 16 year old about to embark on the journey of a lifetime, and believe me I was terrified. My family called themselves being supportive, but not really. My husband was useless, and I was alone basically about to bring a new life into this world. I know that you don't believe that I love you, but I loved you from the moment I saw you. Even though I had no clue, I knew that you were my heart. I know that I made mistakes, major ones, and that I failed you on more than one occasion (and I don't need you to say, no you didn't, because I know that I did). But I do love you and I've always loved you. And it hurts me to know that our relationship is not what it should be and I know it hurts you too, even if you won't admit. And I know that it's mostly my fault, but I can't change the past, I wish that I could. Just please remember that you are my firstborn and even if I failed to show it at times, no mother has ever loved a child more than I love you. I didn't say this to make you cry, just to let you know that I do love you very much. And I'm sorry for any pain that I caused you and mistakes that I made that changed your life and your opinion of yourself.




Susan said...

Please hug your momma for me.

country mouse said...

Somehow I missed this post before--how is that possible?

There's no guilt like Mom guilt, I guess no matter how old our kids get : ) Your mom did a beautiful job of laying it all on the table for you. *sniff*