SCREW YOU!!!

No, not ya'll....THOSE people!

I was in Wally World the other day shopping with my family. My four children {yes, this INCLUDES my husband} were doing stupid, crazy things behind me and I was just walking along putting the dinners we were having this week in my buggy, without a care in the world. I occasionally told them to keep it down, but I let them have their fun...

My daughter comes up behind me and grabs my ass…I squeal like a chipmunk and we all start laughing because Girl Child’s face was one of wonder and confusion. Yes, she grabbed my ass – what she wasn’t expecting was the SQUEEE! that escaped my throat. It took her and the shoppers around us by surprise and we got some dirty looks.

The little FSU whore walking around with her short, shorts (ok, so I’m making a judgment call…they were showing the curve of her ASS!!!) and hoochie shirt rolled her eyes and sighed REALLY loud! Youngest asked what her problem was (yes, he TRIED to whisper, but didn’t get it quite low enough and she heard him – but he’s 8) and I looked right at her face with her make up caked on and said, “She just doesn’t know how to have fun” and promptly walked away.

What is it with you people? Can’t you see that we’re not actually out to ruin your shopping experience, just make ours more fun?! My family tends to do things to try to embarrass each other…in public…mostly in Wally World.

Daddy walks around making all kinds of noises, acting like he’s got some kind of disorder and if Girl Child is flipping out because he’s embarrassing her – we high five each other.

Middle Child walks behind me asking all sorts of questions and to make it entertaining to ME, I tell him something off the wall…
”Mom, why’s bread white?”
“Because the Matrix says so, honey”
“Will Neo save us soon, Mommy?” he asks without missing a beat…

Youngest Child is the one who has us ALL in stitches. He runs up and down the isle SINGING…either the Dora the explorer song (to which we ALL join in) or something he’s heard off the radio, giggling when he gets looks from ‘normal’ people.

My family is loud, my family is crazy, but my family is MINE! We’re not out wreaking too much havoc, we’re not starting riots, we’re not abusing our children…we’re trying to teach them that you can be as silly as you wanna be, as long as you’re YOU! Don’t worry what other people think of you, your mom and dad think you’re the BEST kid EVER and it doesn’t hurt that you’re my kids.

My husband on the other hand, can I trade him in? KIDDING!!! He makes me laugh and sometimes when I’m at work and he’s at his job he’ll text me something and I can’t help but laugh. My family may drive me crazy and we may look like the Beverly Hillbillies, without the Beverly Hills, but we do love each other…usually. Ask me tomorrow and my story may be different…AHHH, the joys of being a mom/wife!