My Daughter Is Moving To The Great Outdoors

Ok, so I had a talk with Girl Child this morning....

"I know that you've been falling asleep in the afternoons instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing"

HUGE SIGH and MAJOR eye roll.

"I also know that its 7:30 in the morning and you're not awake yet, but I'm only going to tell you this once...your room WILL be cleaned, to MY specifications, before you go to bed Friday night. You will NOT put everything into a garbage bag and throw it into your brothers closet (for me to find 6 months later and see WHY their room is being taken over by flies...FOOD in the garbage bags!). You WILL get the kitchen cleaned and SWEPT BEFORE 9 tonight. Because if your room ISN'T cleaned before you go to bed Friday night you will NOT be going to the animal shelter for your volunteer hours and you WILL fail that class. You fail, you get stuck in your room. Your Daddy put you on restrictions for the month for your grades. I will put you on restrictions for the rest of the school year and make sure you don't EVER have any fun...EVER! One other thing, if that room isn't cleaned like I want it, you will be sleeping in the yard and one of your brothers will get your room. You can roll your eyes and think I'm being a bitch and that all these rules are bullshit, I don't care. It will be done, or you WILL be sleeping in the yard. Your room is DISGUSTING and I'm NOT putting up with it."

I didn't yell at her, I didn't even have ANY emotion to my voice. I know she doesn't take me seriously, but I'm not giving her empty threats, I AM sick to death of her room. When I win my Mother of the Year award, I'll thank my daughter cuz she's the one responsible for it.

I need a case...I mean glass of wine.

Lil Bit O' Randomness

As I sit here this LOVELY Monday afternoon, I realize...I have NOTHING to write about! I mean, I have things on my mind and I have worries, but nothing to share...

Hubs and I had a 'date night' Saturday, it went...well! HEHEHEHE! We met some new people and gained some new friends, which is ALWAYS fun! Got a little more than drunk, Mommy Not Daddy - he was the DD. You know, I've NEVER had a hangover...the worst I got Sunday was a headache...plus I wanted to sleep...and I needed MORE coffee!!!!

Girl Child is grounded, has been for the last 2 weeks - she has 2 more left. I don't ask for much when it comes to my kids. I know what they are capable of in school...needless to say, Girl Child came home with 3 F's on her progress report 2 weeks ago. My jaw hit the floor! I talked to her, sent some e-mails to the teachers (little hint: kids HATE it when parents are in CONSTANT contact with teachers...do it - just to bug 'em!) and decided to meet with the teachers on Friday...Girl Child brought her grade up from a F to a B in 2 class periods!

Yes, my child is lazy...they ALL are, but they get it honest. I had a talk with her in front of her teachers and expressed my disbelief. I don't care if they bring home B's or C's...the D's and F's - NOT gonna happen! Girl Child has spoiled me, she has thru her entire school career brought home A's - THAT'S what I expect because I know THAT'S what she can do!

I was going to take her door off her bedroom, but the hinges and pin thingy are sealed shut with paint...so she has to keep her door OPEN, unless she's changing her clothes. She has to do her chores in the kitchen, clean her room and study...she is grounded for a month or until she can bring her grades up...

This weekend she talked me into taking her to our local animal shelter to volunteer because its a HUGE part of one of her grades. Because she's under 18 and they have prisoners around picking up trash, bathing the dogs and cleaning out their kennels, I had to stay with her. No big deal, we stayed for a couple of hours and decided we'd come back Sunday...HUGE mistake! Mommy wasn't feeling the dogs much yesterday...had a headache...wanted to sleep...STOP THE BARKING DOGS!!!

Middle Boy Child has something that the scorpions in my state LOVE! I don't know what it is, but he has it. He was stung AGAIN by a scorpion...TWICE!!! He was stung in the face and the arm this past weekend...I'm glad I don't live in Arizona...THOSE scorpions are deadly, ours here in Florida - they're just UGLY and MEAN! (stinging a kid in his sleep, I mean SERIOUSLY!!!)

Youngest Child is being a holy freaking terror, but that's to be expected. He LOVES to play and he LOVES to get loud...unless Mommy has had too much to drink the night before and if she hears ONE MORE kid screaming, we won't have them anymore!!!

I got a little toasted Saturday night. I didn't embarrass myself by throwing up, but I LOVED everyone! Sunday morning on the other hand, the only thing I coveted was sleep, ibuprofen and my coffee. I didn't get a lot of sleep cuz Girl Child needed volunteer hours and wanted to go back to the animal shelter...they have LOUD barking dogs there!!!

I'm crawling back under my rock now...as you were

I Have Some News...

And I want to share, but I'm afraid to jinx it...I'll put up some pictures and maybe if I don't SAY it, it'll still happen.

Hubs says to me the other day, "I wanna go back to _____ in March. Do you think we can?"

Uh, YEAH!!! As long as we have the money, a babysitter to stay with the kids for a week (so they don't miss any school and cuz we're MEAN parents and won't take them with us...yet) and the time away from work won't kill either of our jobs...SO...here's where we wanna go....where I lost my heart. I fell in LOVE with this place when I was a child with BIG dreams, but never visited (until my 10th wedding anniversary) because I totally HATE, LOATHE big cities. I fell in love with one of the BIGGEST cities in the world and I'm a country girl.

Hey Ya'll!!! There's A VIRGIN In The Bloggo'sphere

My best friend has a blog! She's a bloggy virgin, so please go check her out and treat her nicely! I'll know if you did or not!

My love to you all!!!

Here's her URL: http://bloggingbyme1978.blogspot.com/

Now GO!

As I Sit Here

Thinking of inconsequential things, I start to wonder....exactly WHEN did I turn into my mother?!?!?! I looked in the mirror the other day and I saw my mom looking back at me.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my mom! She raised 5 children on her own with minimal help. We have a HUGE family...my mom is the oldest of 6 and we ALL multiply like rabbits! I am the oldest grandchild...there are between 25 and 30 of us! The great grands? I have NO earthly idea how many we have, but there's a BUNCH of them! My cousin has had 5 children before she turned 30! Yes, we're a bunch of ho's.

I'm perplexed...I used to be semi-smart....when did I get to be SO stupid?!?!?! I was talking to my mom the other day and I told her that I honestly thought having children sucked the smarts right out of a woman. I mean think about it!

Before I had children, I LOVED reading Shakespeare and talking about his sonnets and plays. I could actually hold an intelligent conversation with a college professor without feeling like I was talking in circles or that the people I was talking with thought I was dumber than dirt. I am a country girl, I was raised on a ranch in SOUTHERN California and Macon, GA. I KNOW that I am smart...but since having my children, I feel like every smart cell has gone.

I have friends with kids and we've had discussions about how kids dumb you down...why is that? I work with educated people, they have children, but at work...we're all a bunch of loonies! I'd LOVE to have a conversation that doesn't revolve around politics (I HATE POLITICS!), religion (I'm a heathen), sex, school or ANYTHING to do with the world of Hollywood and the tabloids.*

*My daughter wants to be an actress one day, so I HAVE to be up-to-date on my tabloid info.

I don't wanna be dumb anymore! Some one, PLEASE tell me that I'll get smart again once the demon spawn, I mean children, are out of my house!