Trials and Tribulations of an Elementary School Parent

OK, so I went to Middle Child's Parent Teacher Conference last Thursday. I was greeted by the teacher, the guidance counselor AND the Assistant Principle (I tried to hide under the table). Apparently Middle Child is getting so frustrated at school that he's been hitting himself in the head and saying he's not smart enough to do his work.

OH. NO. HE. DIDN'T. Teacher had a list (2 FREAKING PAGES) of things Middle Child did for a WEEK while he was at school. Most of the things were grunting or moaning in his seat because he couldn't think of something to write or getting upset because he wasn't picked or if he got an answer wrong. Don't get me wrong - I've tried to instill in the children that their education is VERY important and they should try their best to do their best IN school. The class has a color system for behavior and school work. Middle Child FREAKS when he gets a blue instead of a green. Yes, he gets into trouble at home when he gets a blue - but I DON'T beat him! I take things away from him...TV, video game, outside time.

So, I talk to his teacher...he's been doing better with his behavior (WHEW). His school work on the other hand is not up to par. He REFUSED to do a 'Writes Upon Request' that the class had to do. Apparently this is supposed to help with the FCAT (I HATE this fucking standardized testing!!!). BUT if Middle Child keeps up with the outbursts not only will HE fail the FCAT, but so will every other 3rd grader in the library at the time (oh, GREAT - put MORE pressure on me as a parent!)

I know that there are private schools that are in town - but I don't want them to go to a school that is run or affiliated with a church (easy explanation - I'm a heathen and don't want the skin of my children boiling off when they walk into a church...WHAT?!?!?!). I can't afford any kind of tuition and financial aid is out - on PAPER Hubby and I make too much money. ON PAPER!!! You know, if there ever was a reason to 'git rid' of Hubby - THAT would be a reason. (Not that I would because today I LOVE Hubby) So, for now the CHILDREN of SATAN will be staying in public school.

I will say that the teacher sent home some really good stuff for me to help Middle Child with his writing...now if I could only find the time to help him...

Yes, Queen Goob? You want me to come over and help you clean?!?!?! I don't clean MY house...oh, I can get away from my children? But Middle Child needs my help with his school wor...WHAT?!?!?! You have Mark Wahlberg gagged and bound helpless in your closet? Kill me now because unless its Johnny or George (Clooney) I HAVE to help Middle Child. Oh! Well, free beer?!?!!? Why didn't you say so in the first place? I'm on my way!

Middle Child - you'll have to fail 3rd Grade...Queenie has beer and boys, er MEN!!! See ya!