I QUIT!!!

Now before everyone gets their panties in a wad, lemme explain…

I started taking a no smoking class here at my job. My quit date was November 17th and I am happy to say…I NEVER should have stopped!!! I’m KIDDING of course, but the last couple of days have REALLY tried my coping with the non smoking cravings.

I get told Tuesday by the after school program that my 10 yr old is in, that he went ballistic and started hitting himself in the stomach, clawing at his belly and hitting himself upside the head. Why? Because he’s a little chunkier than the rest of the kids and he hates being fat! He can’t run as fast as everyone else and he’s a fat looser!

I have NEVER told my child that! Kids are HORRIBLE people! They pick on other kids who they deem un-cool and don’t realize what they’re doing is hurtful! I try to reinforce positive things to my children, but nothing has worked. I’m seriously looking into getting my son help…he’s 10 yrs old and I’ll be DAMNED if he’s going to end up the next Ted Bundy or even Jeffery Dahmer…1 in 5 could possibly be a serial killer…if I’m not careful Middle Son will be the one I raise.

Girl Child is about to get on my LAST freaking NERVE!!! Today has been the day from HELL!!! I found out this morning that she didn’t get her H1N1 shot that they were giving away for FREE at her school. Why? SHE tells me her teacher took her name off the list because the teacher overheard Girl Child telling another girl about some chic dying from getting the shot and didn't know if she really wanted to get one.

I know that there is a LOT of controversy regarding this shot…I’m getting it for my children because Youngest Child has BAD respiratory problems when he gets sick (he had pneumonia when he was 18 mos. and his right lung almost collapsed) and I honestly don’t want my children dying before I can horrify them by embarrassing them in High School (I have high aspirations, huh).

Anyway, Girl Child and I had a HUGE blow up fight this morning. Resulting in my calling the school to talk to the principal and the teacher who took her off the list. I talked to the nurse and apparently Girl Child’s name wasn’t on the list to begin with…I did NOT need to hear that! The nurse heard me screaming at Girl Child. The nurse explains that for two days in a row she's gotten on the loud speaker and said “If anyone has NOT gotten the shot and you turned in the permission slip, please come to the Media Center"...TWO days in a row the ‘all call’ was put out...Girl Child didn’t go…why? She doesn’t know!

She’s making decisions that aren’t hers to make. I (THE MOTHER) made the decision to get my children a preventative shot and SHE decides because she doesn’t like needles that she’s not going to get it?!?! OH HELL NO!!! Now guess who has to get up on SATURDAY morning to spend ALL day at the Health Department...

She called me earlier today to come and get her from school. Her stomach hurts. I said No. Now, I feel like a freaking heel because I’m not the perfect mother who does everything right. I don’t want to have the kind of relationship with my daughter that I had with my mom. I don’t want my Oldest son growing up to be profiled by the FBI. I don’t want my Youngest son growing up thinking he can bully his way into getting what he wants…have I done something wrong as a parent?

My children haven’t even gotten to the horrible teenage years and I’m already a basket case…I guess I was one BEFORE I had kids…they just made it worse! UGH!!! If I had the means, I’d SO be buying BOXES of wine…maybe I’ll drown my sorrows this weekend. Hey, maybe Jose and Jack aren't busy...even if they are, I could always call the Captain...