Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

THAT'S what little boys are made of...

June 29, 1999 9am - I went to my doctor for my weekly appointment. My baby was due the 4th of July and EVERYONE was excited! My doctor was on vacation, so the Mid-Wife checked me out. From the time I left the docs office, I hurt. I got to my grandmothers house (my cousin was watching Katie) I was hurting so bad I got down on my hands and knees in the middle of her kitchen floor and hiked my bottom into the air.

"You know, Crystal, I think you're in labor", said my grandmother (who gave birth to 6 children, but what did she know?)

"You're crazy old woman, I think the Mid-Wife hurt me. Hubby will be home later - I'm gonna go and get everything ready for him", says I who has only had 1 child thus far...

6PM - Hubby is home for a little while, he has a load to deliver in Alabama and will be back in the morning, he was an Over The Road Truck Driver. We have dinner, actually he and Katie have dinner - mommy is laying on the couch in PAIN - but refuses to believe the baby is coming (every time I hurt with Katie I went to the doctor - I wasn't going again until this baby looked at me and says; 'Hey mom! Its time to go! I'm here!!!)

11PM - I waddle into the TV station that I worked at at the time. The guy I relieved asked when I was gonna pop and I bit his head off. I apologized and shooed him away. I called my mom because the drive to the station was AWFUL! I needed her to talk to me and Hubby was away, and I didn't think he would know what to do. She kept me on the phone for an hour and timed me. Every time I'd suck breath in sharply she'd count...my contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasted a minute and a half. She called the guy who just left.

12AM June 30, 1999 - I'm in an assessment room. I'm at 3 cm, but they can't find the contractions. The nurse tells me to walk around for about 5 minutes and they'll try again. I make it to the next assessment room, which thankfully was empty, and proceeded to make a mess all over everything! The nurse scooted me up on the table and checked again - 5 cm in 3 minutes. This baby was coming! They take me up to the Labor and Delivery rooms...8 cm. My mom has been trying to call my coach - my friend at the time who wanted to be there with me when the baby came because hubs would be out of town but couldn't get a hold of her - apparently her parents turned the phone and answering machine off when they went to bed, so she missed the baby being born. Mom calls Hubs and we're on the phone:

"You can't hold that Turkey in just a few more hours?"

"I'll try, but once things get moving - they move. Get here as soon as you can. The doc is here to give me the epidural, mom will call you back in a bit."

They give me an epidural (yes, I had drugs - sue me!) I had 2 contractions while my mom knelt in front of me and helped me remember to breathe. I don't know if I ever thanked her for that...if not, THANK YOU, MOM!!! (When Katie was born, they shooed everyone out of the room while they gave me the epidural) The on-call doctor came in to assess me (remember, my doc was on va-ca) and said I could push.

But first, I had to puke. I puked and my water broke at the same time. I can vaguely remember hearing the respiratory people being called into a room with the same number as mine...

2:59AM - Despite the epidural I FELT EVERYTHING!!! It didn't take because I was too far gone when they gave it to me...lesson learned. ITS A BOY!!!! 8lbs. 4oz. 22in long. They took the baby over to a waiting incubator. Put a clear plastic tube down his throat and pulled out a black tarry looking liquid. The docs didn't want him swallowing it, it would've messed his little life up before he began it. They took the baby to be weighed, measured and cleaned...I'd been thru this before, so I knew. I waited....and waited...and waited...

I called the guy at work to walk him thru the process of putting on a morning show. My boss didn't believe that I'd had a baby, she called the hospital. When they told her that yes, I had had a baby she asked when I could go back to work...I loved that job - HATED that boss!!!

6AM - They FINALLY bring my baby in...Ryan Patterson. He was beautiful, he was healthy and he was mine! The nurse who brought him in told my mom that before he was born there were 4 vaginal births, 3 C-sections, RYAN, then 5 MORE vaginal births and 3 more C-Sections...it was a full moon and everyone who was ready to pop gave birth the same night!

So my darling, Ryan - that is your birth story. You've been my little man for 10 years. You have made the last 10 years a joy and we've both shed some tears, but you've made it! You're 10!!!! You're going into 4th grade in the fall. you're headed to a new school, you'll make wonderful new friends! I love that you look like me - especially now that I've cut all my hair off. I love that you have my blue eyes. I love your sense of humor and the pride you have when you've done something good. You're not my little baby anymore and you've grown so FAST! Please, can't you wait just a few minutes? I don't want my baby to grow up! You're my oldest son and one of my greatest joys. I Love You, Ryan Patterson!


Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

He IS a cutie!! Loved the story..it was hysterical!! I took an epidural too, so there, everyone else!!

how come you had to cut all your hair off?!

Susan said...

Happy Birthday Ryan!! Crystal, give yourself some credit. I ADOPTED and I had an epidural...twice.

Mommy With a Penis said...

Beautifully told.

country mouse said...

Awww--what a great story! *sniff*