As a mother, you worry about your children. Starting from the moment you hear their heartbeat at the doctor’s office. You wonder what this child is going to be like. Is he/she going to be like their sister/brother? Will this one give you a hard time? Will he/she be colicky? Will they be a happy baby?
Then you worry when the benchmarks that are supposed to be made, aren’t. You ask your pediatrician at the time, if everything is ok with your child and he assures you that it is. Your son is perfect. Then you realize, he’s not talking like he should for a 2 yr old. No one seems to understand him, but you. Then your mother tells you that Mozart (or Einstein) didn’t talk until he was 4 and he was a GENIUS! *{PLEASE NOTE: I don’t know if this is true or not, haven’t looked it up. Don’t care to know – it made me feel better at the time, so that’s all that matters}
You decide to enroll your son in Head Start – it helped his sister come out of her shell, maybe it’ll help him to. He gets accepted because his social skills aren’t developed like they should be. Then he gets into Pre-K because he needs more help with ‘development’. Everything is good until Kindergarten…you walk into your son’s Kindergarten class for a parent/teacher conference and you hear her telling your child that he’s stupid and won’t learn anything! Needless to say, you get your son out of that teacher’s room. He repeats kindergarten only because he’s not "ready for first grade".
You ask and beg for help for your son because SOMETHING is wrong. You’ve known it from the beginning. Now, 11 years later you MAY have a clue as to what’s wrong and it’s scared you senseless. You lay in bed at night thinking everything a mother would…Why didn’t I catch this sooner? Why did it take 11 years to get the help he needed? Have you hurt your son worse by not getting him help?
Mother’s Guilt – it’ll eat you alive EVERY time. I have it and it makes me cry when I think about everything my son has gone thru for the last 11 years. I’m trying to get him help, but I’m lost. I took him to a child psychologist. I couldn’t take the phone calls from his teacher saying he was hitting his head against the concrete wall because he got something wrong on a quiz she gave. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t grasping the things that were taught at school that day.
I THINK I understand now why my wonderful son is having problems. The child psychologists report stated that he has ADHD, OCD and (MAYBE) Asperger’s…I know its NOT my fault – but what else am I to think? If my mother read this she’d tell me I am a great mom. I try to be, it’s hard. I’m scared…I’ve vowed to do everything I can for my children, but what if I fail? What if it's just not enough?
Have I told you I’m freaking SCARED?!?!?!?! What if it’s not enough? What if my everything isn’t what he needs? I can only pray and hope that the love I give my son and the doctor’s appointments don’t cut into his college fund (a try at humor).
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
GOODBYE, HANNAH – HELLO, MILEY!
I am proud to admit, I LOVE Miley Cyrus! This is one girl that I don’t mind my 13 year old daughter to look up to. Note to those who think I’m a bad mom because of that last sentence: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY – THAT IS MY OPINION AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT – GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG!
Now, I told my daughter that when Miley’s new CD/DVD combo comes out – I’m getting it…FOR ME! That’s right, people…a 37 yr old woman is buying Miley Cyrus stuff for herself! Miley has been getting a LOT of criticism for the way she dresses and the way she dances…geez, people! Get off her case! Yes, she’s 17 – but she’s no different than any other teen pop princess that has shed her little girl image. Yes, people think ‘Oh she’s gonna be just like Britney or Lindsay’… to those people I say ‘Get a FREAKING life already!’
I recorded the Friday Good Morning America segment that she was on (which she ROCKED), then the Regis and Kelly and then that night (last Friday) I recorded the Live from the O2 concert in London. I was CRYING while I watched it…I actually feel BAD for this girl! She’s giving everything she has to her fans and you can see how much they love her! I saw little girls being held up by their daddy’s and the daddy’s were singing right along! This girl stormed into our lives as an 11 yr old girl on Hannah Montana and we’ve all watched her grow up on that show. Now, she wants to get out of the mold that Disney put her in and everyone expects her to just STAY Hannah Montana? I don’t think so!
People say ‘Where are her Parents?’…uh, right behind the stage watching their daughter mesmerize fans and being SO proud of her! Let me ask you parents something…if you had the means and opportunity to; wouldn’t you do EVERYTHING in your power to help your child realize their dreams? If so, how are you any different than the Cyrus parents? They have the means to make sure ALL their children get to realize their dreams AND they're making sure that they live happy, meaningful lives.
My daughter wants to go to Hollyweird and be an actress. If I had the money, I’d do EVERYTHING I could to help her! As it is, she’s stuck in this little town until she’s 18…or she graduates high school (whichever comes first). I have told her for her graduation present I’d take her to Hollywood and help her as much as I can to get into the ‘business’. I know being an actress is hard. No, I’ve never been one, but my dream as a child was to be an actress as well. No, my daughter doesn’t want Hollywood for me – it’s all her idea. I’ve tried telling her how awful the business is, how horrible people can be to an actress and how she’ll have to always be ‘good’ because of the paparazzi…she doesn’t care – she wants this! If my child wants to be an actress, I’m not gonna stop her – I’ll pray for her and wish her the best and be there for her when things get ugly. I don’t think Miley is a BAD role model for girls, I just hope when my daughter takes Hollyweird by storm, she takes things in stride and with a grain of salt.
The people who criticize others have nothing else to do in their lives and they enjoy knocking people down. The words hurt and they’re mean, but Miley laughs it off. Her critics don’t really ‘know’ her (of course, neither do I) and yet they say harsh and ugly things about her. Have they SEEN the way she is with her fans?! She LOVES them and they LOVE her! Miley Cyrus as a brand is different from Miley Cyrus the person. My daughter and I have ALWAYS talked about why people talk bad about others, why people criticize others…they’re mean and don’t like people (that’s what she came up with).
When Eminem first came out – oh, he was such a BAD guy…his lyrics talked about him wanting to kill his wife or rape his mom. Yes, those lyrics were not very good ones, but if you LISTEN to his words he’s talking about pain and heartache. When my sister-in-law gave me ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ there was a collective gasp from the family members, because they’d heard Eminem was a BAD guy and his lyrics were the devil…whatever people, he’s a fricken artist! Needless to say, I LOVE Eminem as well. I’ve got most of his CD’s and the things he does with lyrics is AMAZING!!! It doesn’t hurt that he’s exactly one week older than I am and FINE as all get out! I’ve told my children that the way Eminem expresses himself may not be in the way anyone else would, but that doesn’t mean he’s a BAD person.
The way actors and singers are on stage, doesn’t mean that’s how they are in real life. If you don’t like the way Miley is dressing now – don’t buy her stuff, don’t watch her videos! She seems like a very grounded girl and I wouldn’t mind her being my daughters friend. Her parents seem to be VERY proud of her and her fans LOVE her. I LOVE MILEY CYRUS, EMINEM AND BRET MICHAELS!!! If you don’t like my blog, get off it!
Now, I told my daughter that when Miley’s new CD/DVD combo comes out – I’m getting it…FOR ME! That’s right, people…a 37 yr old woman is buying Miley Cyrus stuff for herself! Miley has been getting a LOT of criticism for the way she dresses and the way she dances…geez, people! Get off her case! Yes, she’s 17 – but she’s no different than any other teen pop princess that has shed her little girl image. Yes, people think ‘Oh she’s gonna be just like Britney or Lindsay’… to those people I say ‘Get a FREAKING life already!’
I recorded the Friday Good Morning America segment that she was on (which she ROCKED), then the Regis and Kelly and then that night (last Friday) I recorded the Live from the O2 concert in London. I was CRYING while I watched it…I actually feel BAD for this girl! She’s giving everything she has to her fans and you can see how much they love her! I saw little girls being held up by their daddy’s and the daddy’s were singing right along! This girl stormed into our lives as an 11 yr old girl on Hannah Montana and we’ve all watched her grow up on that show. Now, she wants to get out of the mold that Disney put her in and everyone expects her to just STAY Hannah Montana? I don’t think so!
People say ‘Where are her Parents?’…uh, right behind the stage watching their daughter mesmerize fans and being SO proud of her! Let me ask you parents something…if you had the means and opportunity to; wouldn’t you do EVERYTHING in your power to help your child realize their dreams? If so, how are you any different than the Cyrus parents? They have the means to make sure ALL their children get to realize their dreams AND they're making sure that they live happy, meaningful lives.
My daughter wants to go to Hollyweird and be an actress. If I had the money, I’d do EVERYTHING I could to help her! As it is, she’s stuck in this little town until she’s 18…or she graduates high school (whichever comes first). I have told her for her graduation present I’d take her to Hollywood and help her as much as I can to get into the ‘business’. I know being an actress is hard. No, I’ve never been one, but my dream as a child was to be an actress as well. No, my daughter doesn’t want Hollywood for me – it’s all her idea. I’ve tried telling her how awful the business is, how horrible people can be to an actress and how she’ll have to always be ‘good’ because of the paparazzi…she doesn’t care – she wants this! If my child wants to be an actress, I’m not gonna stop her – I’ll pray for her and wish her the best and be there for her when things get ugly. I don’t think Miley is a BAD role model for girls, I just hope when my daughter takes Hollyweird by storm, she takes things in stride and with a grain of salt.
The people who criticize others have nothing else to do in their lives and they enjoy knocking people down. The words hurt and they’re mean, but Miley laughs it off. Her critics don’t really ‘know’ her (of course, neither do I) and yet they say harsh and ugly things about her. Have they SEEN the way she is with her fans?! She LOVES them and they LOVE her! Miley Cyrus as a brand is different from Miley Cyrus the person. My daughter and I have ALWAYS talked about why people talk bad about others, why people criticize others…they’re mean and don’t like people (that’s what she came up with).
When Eminem first came out – oh, he was such a BAD guy…his lyrics talked about him wanting to kill his wife or rape his mom. Yes, those lyrics were not very good ones, but if you LISTEN to his words he’s talking about pain and heartache. When my sister-in-law gave me ‘The Marshall Mathers LP’ there was a collective gasp from the family members, because they’d heard Eminem was a BAD guy and his lyrics were the devil…whatever people, he’s a fricken artist! Needless to say, I LOVE Eminem as well. I’ve got most of his CD’s and the things he does with lyrics is AMAZING!!! It doesn’t hurt that he’s exactly one week older than I am and FINE as all get out! I’ve told my children that the way Eminem expresses himself may not be in the way anyone else would, but that doesn’t mean he’s a BAD person.
The way actors and singers are on stage, doesn’t mean that’s how they are in real life. If you don’t like the way Miley is dressing now – don’t buy her stuff, don’t watch her videos! She seems like a very grounded girl and I wouldn’t mind her being my daughters friend. Her parents seem to be VERY proud of her and her fans LOVE her. I LOVE MILEY CYRUS, EMINEM AND BRET MICHAELS!!! If you don’t like my blog, get off it!
Monday, May 3, 2010
WARNING: Sappy, Lovey, Dovey Shit Inside: Read If You Dare
Its not very often that I get sappy. I'm not a girlie girl. I'd rather watch/play football than go shopping. Hell, I'd rather have my eye lashes plucked out by something from one of my horror movies. But this weekend, I was thinking all sappy, lovey, dovey shit and figured I'd share.
If I had one wish, I'd wish....well, to be honest I'd wish that I had enough money to live comfortably and give my children the best life possible. BUT since I'm broke as hell and no one I know has lots of money they're giving to me when they die...I wish everyone could experience 'The Love' just once.
I was talking to my daughter the other day and we were listening to the radio when a Tim McGraw song came on...he says something about never forgetting your first love. I told my daughter that I've never forgotten mine...she thought I was talking about her daddy and as much as I do love him, he's not my first love.
Brent Williamson was my first love. He was my first serious boyfriend when I was 15-17. We went to the same high school together and he was FINE!!! He had blonde hair and brown eyes...kinda reminded me of John Schneider and I LOVED me some Bo Duke when I was growing up. Brent reminded me of Bo. We did some pretty crazy things, but I honestly did love him. It broke my heart when we moved to a different city and we ended breaking up. But yes, Brent Williamson was my first love.
Fast forward MANY years and I was gobsmacked when I met Craig. Craig is everything different. He's dark. His eyes, his hair and his skin (his NATURAL tan? I LOVE IT!). His sense of humor. He enjoys the same things I do, except reading...I LOVE to read, he could live without it...unless its AJC or about the DAWGS.
He's the father of my 3 children and he's been my husband for 14 years. I've never thought I'd be married this long...to the same person. When I pictured my life growing up, I had my large passel of kids, but I never saw a dad in the picture. I grew up with a single mother and not a real father figure around - that could be why I never saw a dad for my kids.
As young girls we read about the happily ever after, which BTW is a crock of BULLSHIT! I've never believed in happily ever after...happily until one of us gets tired of the other yes. but looking at Craig outside playing Frisbee with the kids, 'helping' them play on the XBox, playing Uno or even just giving a kid a hug. My heart felt this weird unexplainable feeling...
SAP!!! It was feeling SAPPY!!!! UGH! I've lived my WHOLE life without the SAP!!! Why now?!?!?! My inner voice was screaming! But my heart was melting just a little...until Craig turned his head to me and winked! He freaking WINKED at me and my heart flipped! Many of you know that my marriage hasn't always been a happy one, but we've fought for it and that's what's made us who we are.
As a mother you fight for your children. As a friend you fight for the wrong felt by another. As a wife, you fight for {and occasionally with} your husband. But if you honestly deep down in the black pit of your heart love your mate - you fight everything and everyone together. I thought my heart was a black hole, but somehow over the last 15 years Craig has filled that hole. With laughter, children and love. THAT'S True Love.
Don't get me wrong, just because I'm feeling this today, doesn't mean that I won't snap your freaking head off tomorrow! I just wanted people to know that I actually DO have a heart! And I do know the meaning of love and happiness and snark! This is disgusting...I've gotta go kick someone or yell at someone...
If I had one wish, I'd wish....well, to be honest I'd wish that I had enough money to live comfortably and give my children the best life possible. BUT since I'm broke as hell and no one I know has lots of money they're giving to me when they die...I wish everyone could experience 'The Love' just once.
I was talking to my daughter the other day and we were listening to the radio when a Tim McGraw song came on...he says something about never forgetting your first love. I told my daughter that I've never forgotten mine...she thought I was talking about her daddy and as much as I do love him, he's not my first love.
Brent Williamson was my first love. He was my first serious boyfriend when I was 15-17. We went to the same high school together and he was FINE!!! He had blonde hair and brown eyes...kinda reminded me of John Schneider and I LOVED me some Bo Duke when I was growing up. Brent reminded me of Bo. We did some pretty crazy things, but I honestly did love him. It broke my heart when we moved to a different city and we ended breaking up. But yes, Brent Williamson was my first love.
Fast forward MANY years and I was gobsmacked when I met Craig. Craig is everything different. He's dark. His eyes, his hair and his skin (his NATURAL tan? I LOVE IT!). His sense of humor. He enjoys the same things I do, except reading...I LOVE to read, he could live without it...unless its AJC or about the DAWGS.
He's the father of my 3 children and he's been my husband for 14 years. I've never thought I'd be married this long...to the same person. When I pictured my life growing up, I had my large passel of kids, but I never saw a dad in the picture. I grew up with a single mother and not a real father figure around - that could be why I never saw a dad for my kids.
As young girls we read about the happily ever after, which BTW is a crock of BULLSHIT! I've never believed in happily ever after...happily until one of us gets tired of the other yes. but looking at Craig outside playing Frisbee with the kids, 'helping' them play on the XBox, playing Uno or even just giving a kid a hug. My heart felt this weird unexplainable feeling...
SAP!!! It was feeling SAPPY!!!! UGH! I've lived my WHOLE life without the SAP!!! Why now?!?!?! My inner voice was screaming! But my heart was melting just a little...until Craig turned his head to me and winked! He freaking WINKED at me and my heart flipped! Many of you know that my marriage hasn't always been a happy one, but we've fought for it and that's what's made us who we are.
As a mother you fight for your children. As a friend you fight for the wrong felt by another. As a wife, you fight for {and occasionally with} your husband. But if you honestly deep down in the black pit of your heart love your mate - you fight everything and everyone together. I thought my heart was a black hole, but somehow over the last 15 years Craig has filled that hole. With laughter, children and love. THAT'S True Love.
Don't get me wrong, just because I'm feeling this today, doesn't mean that I won't snap your freaking head off tomorrow! I just wanted people to know that I actually DO have a heart! And I do know the meaning of love and happiness and snark! This is disgusting...I've gotta go kick someone or yell at someone...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
UPDATE and Other Random Stuff
Working where I work is AWESOME! That whole birth certificate thing I was stressing over yesterday? Well, I told my boss that I might have to drive with Hubs to Texas (this was BEFORE we realized Step-Spawn could drive) and would need a couple of days off to do it...she got on the phone to her husband and asked what she could do...he gave her a number for someone who apparently is a magician. I got an e-mail yesterday at 4pm saying that the certificate was in Fed-Ex and we should get it today...we got his birth certificate today!!!!
HAPPY 420 Day ya'll!!! Yes, I know its illegal but its cool to say! If you're not 'hip' {snort - like I am SO freaking hip!!! LOL} you may not know what 420 stands for. 420 is code for pot. And according to Huffington Post it started in the 70's in California...SHOCKING isn't it?!?!?!
HAPPY 420 Day ya'll!!! Yes, I know its illegal but its cool to say! If you're not 'hip' {snort - like I am SO freaking hip!!! LOL} you may not know what 420 stands for. 420 is code for pot. And according to Huffington Post it started in the 70's in California...SHOCKING isn't it?!?!?!
Monday, April 19, 2010
I'm NOT Driving!
Guess who gets to drive ALL the way to Austin, Texas this week? No - NOT me! (see headline).
Apparently there's this new law that you have to have your birth certificate and your social security card to renew your license in my great state...only problem? Hubby was born in Texas and he doesn't have his birth certificate.
We sent the money to Austin to have them end us a copy of it...they won't get to his request until sometime next week because they're 6-8 weeks behind on their requests. Another problem? Hubs NEEDS his license to work. He's a truck driver with a CDL, he brings home the money AND the bacon - I just fry the latter in a pan. Without his job we'd be homeless...
SO...unless my boss can work magic in the next 24 hours, Hubs is driving 871.70 miles and 13hrs 44 minutes to get his birth certificate. His dad was going to drive out with him, to help...then he couldn't. I was asked and said yes, but I'm taking NEXT Tuesday off for Earth Day field trip with our 4th grader.
Obviously we're not the brightest bulbs in the pack becaue neither one of us thought of the OTHER driver we have in the house...Step-Spawn to the rescue! So now, hubs and Step-Spawn are driving out to Austin tomorrow afternoon and hopefully by Thursday he'll have a valid license and his job still.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed that what we need my boss can help us with. Apparently her husband is the Vital Records Guru and knows people who know people who might be able to get it here quicker, because according to him (and I quote) "Texas is just weird"...because they wouldn't fax a copy over to me and WON'T do anything until next week...Keep 'em crossed people!
P.S. The views of other people are NOT mine! Personally, I think EVERYONE is weird, some just WAY more than others!
Apparently there's this new law that you have to have your birth certificate and your social security card to renew your license in my great state...only problem? Hubby was born in Texas and he doesn't have his birth certificate.
We sent the money to Austin to have them end us a copy of it...they won't get to his request until sometime next week because they're 6-8 weeks behind on their requests. Another problem? Hubs NEEDS his license to work. He's a truck driver with a CDL, he brings home the money AND the bacon - I just fry the latter in a pan. Without his job we'd be homeless...
SO...unless my boss can work magic in the next 24 hours, Hubs is driving 871.70 miles and 13hrs 44 minutes to get his birth certificate. His dad was going to drive out with him, to help...then he couldn't. I was asked and said yes, but I'm taking NEXT Tuesday off for Earth Day field trip with our 4th grader.
Obviously we're not the brightest bulbs in the pack becaue neither one of us thought of the OTHER driver we have in the house...Step-Spawn to the rescue! So now, hubs and Step-Spawn are driving out to Austin tomorrow afternoon and hopefully by Thursday he'll have a valid license and his job still.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed that what we need my boss can help us with. Apparently her husband is the Vital Records Guru and knows people who know people who might be able to get it here quicker, because according to him (and I quote) "Texas is just weird"...because they wouldn't fax a copy over to me and WON'T do anything until next week...Keep 'em crossed people!
P.S. The views of other people are NOT mine! Personally, I think EVERYONE is weird, some just WAY more than others!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I LOVE Being A Woman...
But I HATE being female! 20-25 days out of the month, I'm normal (or whatever passes for normal these days) but the OTHER 5-10 days...I'm a FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK!!!
NORMAL DAYS:
I do NOT cry over every little thing
I do NOT have the top of my head pop off for a minor infraction (for example: Step-Spawn NOT making tea before he goes to bed even AFTER dad has told him to - therefore NO tea in the mornings for younger brother Spawn to have with breakfast {I KNOW they should probably be drinking juice or something healthy - sue me!})
I do NOT want to slaughter every person on the road getting in my way as I go to work.
I'm a half way pleasant person
FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK DAYS:
I DO cry over every little thing (even squirrels dead on the highway)
The top of my head blows COMPLETELY off over EVERYTHING!
I want more than anything the idiot who cut me off to get something VERY nasty and crap himself at work...
Here's the thing: Last night I woke up CRYING my eyes out over a bad dream that involved my daughter. I know, mother's intuition is a strong thing and I DO listen to mine. I called my mom {EVERYONE knows that NO good can come from a phone call in the middle of the night}. She didn't answer - her sleep meds. No big, I texted her and said I was just a little worried about Katie. The FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK (FEW) side of me wouldn't let me sleep. The dream kept playing over and over in my head and it kept getting worse!
When Katie was born the doc was in a hurry to start her vacation and put one of those vacuum things on Katie's head (she was stuck), put BOTH feet at the end of my bed and yanked...hard...twice! The thing slipped off her head both times and now she has a mark on her head. Her pediatrician at the time thought it looked a little wrong, so he had it biopsied when she was 18 months old.
THAT place didn't use anything to numb it and yanked an inch of this thing out of her head...then they couldn't get it to stop bleeding...NICE!!! Anyway, she's had this birthmark on her head and its been fine...until the other day when Katie came to me and said it was itching. I lifted her mane of hair and yes, the spot was a little red. It wasn't feverish, but it did itch a little.
THAT was what started the dream. It wasn't a pleasant one, obviously. This dream kept playing in my head and getting worse and worse! I was freaking CRYING my eyes out over something that I THOUGHT about! See why I HATE being female? At about 2AM the RATIONAL part of my brain had finally had enough! It bitch slapped the FEW side and said: "That spot is probably irritated because she recently colored her hair...RED!! You stoopid moron! Now quit the freaking crying and let us get some sleep!"
See?!?!?! When I'm rational and actually THINK about things, I know she's fine and nothing is gonna happen to her. If there was something wrong, my mom would've called me in a heartbeat! Katie called at 6:30 this morning. As soon as I heard her, "Hey, Mommy" I knew everything was OK. The FEW side of me? Yeah - she was crying in a corner until I talked to Katie.
The moral of the story: don't let your kids out of your sight when you're being 'FEMALE'!
NORMAL DAYS:
I do NOT cry over every little thing
I do NOT have the top of my head pop off for a minor infraction (for example: Step-Spawn NOT making tea before he goes to bed even AFTER dad has told him to - therefore NO tea in the mornings for younger brother Spawn to have with breakfast {I KNOW they should probably be drinking juice or something healthy - sue me!})
I do NOT want to slaughter every person on the road getting in my way as I go to work.
I'm a half way pleasant person
FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK DAYS:
I DO cry over every little thing (even squirrels dead on the highway)
The top of my head blows COMPLETELY off over EVERYTHING!
I want more than anything the idiot who cut me off to get something VERY nasty and crap himself at work...
Here's the thing: Last night I woke up CRYING my eyes out over a bad dream that involved my daughter. I know, mother's intuition is a strong thing and I DO listen to mine. I called my mom {EVERYONE knows that NO good can come from a phone call in the middle of the night}. She didn't answer - her sleep meds. No big, I texted her and said I was just a little worried about Katie. The FREAKING EMOTIONAL WRECK (FEW) side of me wouldn't let me sleep. The dream kept playing over and over in my head and it kept getting worse!
When Katie was born the doc was in a hurry to start her vacation and put one of those vacuum things on Katie's head (she was stuck), put BOTH feet at the end of my bed and yanked...hard...twice! The thing slipped off her head both times and now she has a mark on her head. Her pediatrician at the time thought it looked a little wrong, so he had it biopsied when she was 18 months old.
THAT place didn't use anything to numb it and yanked an inch of this thing out of her head...then they couldn't get it to stop bleeding...NICE!!! Anyway, she's had this birthmark on her head and its been fine...until the other day when Katie came to me and said it was itching. I lifted her mane of hair and yes, the spot was a little red. It wasn't feverish, but it did itch a little.
THAT was what started the dream. It wasn't a pleasant one, obviously. This dream kept playing in my head and getting worse and worse! I was freaking CRYING my eyes out over something that I THOUGHT about! See why I HATE being female? At about 2AM the RATIONAL part of my brain had finally had enough! It bitch slapped the FEW side and said: "That spot is probably irritated because she recently colored her hair...RED!! You stoopid moron! Now quit the freaking crying and let us get some sleep!"
See?!?!?! When I'm rational and actually THINK about things, I know she's fine and nothing is gonna happen to her. If there was something wrong, my mom would've called me in a heartbeat! Katie called at 6:30 this morning. As soon as I heard her, "Hey, Mommy" I knew everything was OK. The FEW side of me? Yeah - she was crying in a corner until I talked to Katie.
The moral of the story: don't let your kids out of your sight when you're being 'FEMALE'!
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Time Has Come...
You see that beautiful girl in the photos above? That’s my Katie…she’s 13 today and I’m a complete wreck! I was 24 when I had her and I was scared out of my mind! My mom and husband were in the delivery room with me, making sure I was breathing and trying not to scream. When the doc pulled her out I looked between her legs to make sure she was a girl, because even though I had 3 sonograms I could NEVER tell what she was – her hands were covering herself or she was turned on her back. At first glance I thought she was a boy…things were swollen and I was drugged – leave me alone!But when they put her tiny body in my arms, my heart melted when I looked into her blue eyes. I kissed her tiny heart shaped lips and gave her her name…Rachel Katheryn. Rachel because I love the story of Rachel and Jacob in the Bible (yes, I DO read the Bible…shuudup) and Katheryn for my mother.
Knowing I was putting this post up I asked her Daddy to tell me how he felt knowing he was having another baby and then knowing she was a girl…this is what he said…Of course I was scared! I knew having a little girl was going to be different in the way I raised her and how I watch over her and protect her. And it didn’t help my cause her growing into the most beautiful female ever created…
Well said Daddy, well said.
Katie – you’re growing into a beautiful young woman and I don’t like it! I can’t stop it! But then again, I don’t want to. Yes, you aggravate the holy SHIT outta your brothers and you make me wonder sometimes if you’re human and not an alien, but then I watch you take up for some wrong that happened to Ryan or even Brad and I know that you’re being the best big sister you know how.
13 was a TOUGH year for me. I don’t want it to be for you, but you have to start taking responsibility for your actions. The school situation is going to get better – you’re GOING to do what you need to, to make sure I don’t come sit in with you – because you KNOW I will! You have so many dreams and things you want to do, things you wanna see. I want to share ALL of that with you! I want your dreams to come true! I want you to be successful in ANYTHING you do! But your education is NON-NEGOTIABLE!
Being a teenager is fun and knowing you’re getting closer to being able to get a job and make your own way in the world is exciting. Do me a favor? Savor your youth. Have fun being a kid! QUIT GROWING UP SO DAMN FAST!!!
I love you, my girl! We’re going to have a TOUGH row to hoe these next few years. I can’t promise we won’t get into screaming matches. I can’t promise that you won’t be grounded for your grades. I can’t promise that Daddy and I won’t be angry with you for something…but I CAN promise that no matter what, we’ll always LOVE YOU! You are my first born and my only daughter; I want our relationship to be different. It won’t be, but a mother can dream – can’t she?
Loving you is so easy…most of the time. I know when we tell you to do something you roll your eyes and suck your teeth, but we’re not beating you, we’re not starving you and you even have clean clothes and a bed to sleep in at night. You have a good life, you may hate it at times when you can’t do what you want – but you do have a good life. I want that to continue, so remember…to make it to 14 all you have to do is:
1) Keep your grades above a D
2) Keep your room clean
3) Do your chores when you’re told
I love you and I can’t WAIT to see Alice and have dinner with you and Lacy tonight. I'll have a little more to post on Monday - something from the rest of our family.
I Love You, Lil' Bit!!! 
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
